I once heard it said that ‘unreliance’ is the ultimate success with accepting personal responsibility. To be unreliant, is to be totally on your own: Autonomous. Independent. Self-reliant. Self-sufficient.
Life is not a solo proposition however, and I do think a certain measure of healthy coexistence is a human necessity (coexistence, not codependence), just as we spoke of here: Responsibility’s Kuleana Keepers—You can share your kuleana in a win-win way. Yet each time our value immersion practice circles back to Kuleana, the Hawaiian value of responsibility, I think about that assertion again;
UnReliance is the ultimate success with accepting personal responsibility.
To think about it, and weigh in with it, is to ask yourself if you’ve reckoned with personal responsibility enough—do you accept enough personal responsibility for your own life, or not? How can you become stronger in your self-reliance, and thus, more self-confident?
Upping your quota of self-reliance usually means you have more to give to others as well, because you can do so without feeling depleted in any way; you remain steady and sure.

Back Where It All Begins, by Thomas Hawk on Flickr
So ask yourself, “What keeps me feeling in balance in a self-reliant way?”
Beyond being in balance, what makes you feel abundant enough to share yourself with others, wherein you aren’t dependent on them, and they in turn, need not be dependent on you? —Have that be your Kuleana.
We Ho‘ohana Kākou,
Rosa
Related reading on Kuleana in the Archives:
- Responsibility’s Kuleana Keepers
- Your Responsibilities: Kuleana Joy or Clutter?
- The Alaka‘i Benefactor: Sharing in the ‘Ohana in Business
These thoughts were originally shared within our weekly newsletter:
Talking Story with the Ho‘ohana Community.
Preview the updates in Managing with Aloha, Second Edition, released Summer, 2016
Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawai‘i’s Universal Values to the Art of Business