At Say Leadership Coaching, we’re taking radical measures with our smartphones.
We’re putting them away.
A Value Review
Ho‘ohanohano is thought of as the value of respect and self-respect.
It teaches us to honor the dignity of others, while we conduct ourselves with distinction, honor, and integrity as well.
Hanohano is a glorious dignity, and to Ho‘o is to make it happen!
We honor the intelligence of others, and we seek to learn from them.
We ourselves aspire to be as upright in character and as trustworthy as we can possibly be.
Short and sweet, this is the value of good, attentive behavior.
“Conduct yourself with distinction” is our Ho‘ohanohano expectation within Managing with Aloha.
Good morning Austin, by Thomas Hawk on Flickr
Screen life, is not Real life.
I recently became familiar with Sherry Turkle, a clinical psychologist and sociologist who teaches at MIT, because of several excellent interviews, and the reviews being given to her book, Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age. I have it queued up on my Kindle for reading during a long flight scheduled this week.
Meanwhile, reading those interviews and reviews has definitely caused me to better notice, and question the habits I have fallen into with my smartphone, my tablet, and my laptop, knowing that I must start with me, in setting a better example using them, for my business and my family.
I feel a kindred spirit to Turkle, for I am always harping about how we need to talk to each other more than we do, with talking story, MWA Conversation 101, and the Daily 5 Minutes.
“I am not anti-technology. I am pro-conversation.”
— Sherry Turkle
Like Turkle, I love technology, however I am a much bigger proponent of conversation. As Turkle points out, technology is great for connectivity, but we cannot be fooled into thinking that our technical connection translates to a complete and fulfilling human connection. For that to happen, we have to learn more about each other, and not edit out and censor our vulnerabilities.
In our managing with Aloha words for it, we must not edit out or censor the Aloha Spirit which thrives when we converse face to face.
“We let digital devices dictate our daily life at great cost.
They are an assault on compassion.”
— Sherry Turkle
“Conversation is the most human and humanizing thing that we do. It’s where empathy is born, where intimacy is born—because of eye contact, because we can hear the tones of another person’s voice, sense their body movements, sense their presence. It’s where we learn about other people. But, without meaning to, without having made a plan, we’ve actually moved away from conversation in a way that my research was showing is hurting us.”
“In the workplace, you need to create sacred spaces for conversation because, number one, conversation actually increases the bottom line. All the studies show that when people are allowed to talk to each other, they do better—they’re more collaborative, they’re more creative, they get more done.”
“It’s very important for companies to make space for conversation in the workplace. But if a manager doesn’t model to employees that it’s OK to be off of their email in order to have conversation, nothing is going to get accomplished.”
— Sherry Turkle with Jill Suttie for Greater Good
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How Smartphones are Killing Conversation
Knowing as we do, that our values drive our behavior, I look to those values for help when I seek to reshape my habits: You Are Your Habits, So Make ‘em Good! In this case, Ho‘ohanohano spoke to me loud and clear: “Conduct yourself with distinction.”
During the month of August, I am making the concerted effort to put my smartphone away whenever I find myself in the company of another person, giving them my full attention. I will work on making it comfortable for them to talk to me, and I will work on having more interesting face to face conversations. I will work on NOT getting lost in my internal monologues. Full attention, better listening, complete respect.
Will you join me, in adding this specific, smartphones-away connection to Ho‘ohanohano during August, coupling it with our work on Aloha?
— Rosa Say
UPDATE: A 2017 Recommendation: Sunday Mālama: Stretching your 8 Hours
TED Talks: Connected but Alone?
As we expect more from technology, do we expect less from each other? Sherry Turkle studies how our devices and online personas are redefining human connection and communication — and asks us to think deeply about the new kinds of connection we want to have.
Our #AlohaIntentions value for the month of August, 2016 is Aloha.
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Talking Story with the Ho‘ohana Community.
THANK YOU for challenging us to do this! This is very easy for me to do, because i keep my iphone in my purse when around others already, especially at a restAurant! But even in a store, i dont converse… Especially at the check-out stand….no one wants to overhear my convos! Plus it bugs me when my friends have theiR cells sitting right next their Knife and fork at the table (my House or at a restaurant) and they keep looking at their cells while we aRe talking.
(I understand that sometimEs we have to keep an eye on our phones when waitinG for an important call, but give it a break when with friends!) ok, rant over! :-)