Preface: This post was written as a follow-up to my recent articles on habit-building (they are listed from newest to oldest on this page.) Theory is all well and good, now let’s make it real for you.
Management Style by Habit
‘Management style’ is one of those phrases bandied about in all workplaces, and it’s a catch-all; when we say it, we have to clarify, and add more to better convey what we mean.
Our management style can be seen in a good light — “He’s very compassionate, and fiercely protective of his team.” or it can be negatively perceived — “She’s a micro-manager and just can’t keep her nose out of my work.” The good is often said in gratitude, and the not-so-good as grumbled whisper.
Managers tend to have quick answers when asked, “What’s your management style like?” — So what’s yours?
Now the more important question: “Would your team agree with you, or say something different?”
Your management style = your Reputation.
For me, management style has long been synonymous with reputation, and reputation is something you have to earn: Others will award it to you as acknowledgement, “yes, [that] is indeed who you are — I see it consistently, and we all experience it with you.”
So you can’t select your reputation, not exactly: You either enjoy it when favorable, or work to change it when it’s not — and that you can do.
You “work to change it” by improving your habits, particularly those which will affect how you work with other people, and particularly those people who are the ones who award you your reputation (their whispers are the loudest ones!)
Simply said, you’re part of their lives; they’ll talk about you. The whisper gets louder because they start hoping you’ll hear it, and take it to heart.
Give them something good to talk about.
This is not about ego. Their perceptions about you are your reality about your effectiveness within your circle of influence. The opposite of, “yes, [that] is indeed who you are — I see it consistently, and we all experience it with you.” is “no, [sigh]… you really are clueless, aren’t you.”
They aren’t likely to come out and say that directly, but you can tell when they think it: Their working pathways steer clear of yours — that partnership founded in ALOHA, KĀKOU and LŌKAHI is m.i.a.
If you need to work on your management style, so you can start to reap the benefits of these values rooted in spirit-spilling self-actualization, the Language of We, and co-working synergies, work on your personal workplace habits — the ones which put you on automatic pilot in only good ways:
I am completely at your command.
80% of what you do, you might as well hand over to me and I will do it promptly and I will do it correctly.
I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.
— from The Riddle: You are Your Habits, so Make ‘em Good!
How are habits ‘easily managed’ ???
The short answer is: Intentionally. It’s not something you leave to chance. You come up with a plan in which you’ll (you WILL) better direct your behaviors.
A more complete answer is what Managing with Aloha is all about: You choose your values too. You choose those values which match your deepest beliefs and convictions about how you want to work with others, manage them well in partnership, and lead them in mission-driven work, visionary thinking, and self-developmental growth.
Those are big choices. Sometimes they’re clear, and we are tasked with keeping them clear. More often, they’re muddled and we need to sort through them. Yet whether clear or muddled, they amount to choices and decisions in just three things:
1. Values.
2. Relationships.
3. Intentional work.
— Ethos: Be True to Your Values
Good habit-building is w.i.p. for all managers, all the time.
It’s work-in-progress all the time for me too. I do my intentional behavior-directing plan in habit-building as a recurring journaling exercise, so my at-work attentions will be directed to where I currently need them most. I use my Ethos/Habits framing as above, like this on a single page:
Self-coaching in Habit-Building
VALUES:
My value of the month is_____________ because I want to_____________ in value immersion.
[or] To lead by merit of my own good example, I must ‘walk my talk’ in regard to_____________ because my MWA Language of Intention recently has been about_____________.Therefore: My habit will be to_____________________.
RELATIONSHIPS:
I am currently focused on my partnership with_____________, because_____________.
[or] The team collective of my recent D5M conversations has been about_____________, and my personal follow-up integration must be with_____________.Therefore: My habit will be to_____________________.
INTENTIONAL WORK:
I am next-stepping with______________. [Next-stepping is introduced here, and as value-verbing here.]
[or] The value-steering of my_____________ project is_____________ because I need to achieve_____________.Therefore: My habit will be to_____________________.
That completed page will function as my daily at-work prompt. I work on just 1 habit at a time in each of my 3 ‘characteristic spirits of ethos’: Choosing values, cultivating relationships and partnerships, and achieving intentional work. To think I, or any manager can do more is unreasonable; even 3 at a time is pushing the envelope of possibility unless you drill-down and get very specific in the habit you shape for yourself.
Once I feel good about my progress, I revise my planning sheet with my next set of goals. Those [or] brackets above were included to show you options on how I’ll tweak and revise my filling-in-the-current-day thinking. This is NOT an exercise about exhaustively including everything you do: This is about getting specific with current targets. Is there a problem you want to tackle, or a task you want to reinvent? Is there a work interruption you must get to root cause of once and for all?
Sort out your answers, and trust in those intuitive impulses, but then choose and concentrate on a specific habit. Effective habit-building requires deliberate focus, true readiness, and clarified self-motivation.
You may come up with a different framing than the one I use and have illustrated here, and that’s okay, but DO IT! Here is another framing suggestion for you: Life’s 3 Stops in Motivation: Happiness, Meaning, Service.
Be proactive about cultivating your management style, and hence, your reputation of effectiveness in working with others. Step up to your calling as a manager of Aloha. BE the person your peers, team, and other partners crave working with, because in the process, you help them be better too.
Study Paths
If you are new to my blog, here is a quick index of articles which will share more in this line of thought, and with our MWA tribe’s Language of Intention. I recommend reading them in the order below:
- What should you do with your life? Find out!
- Next-stepping and other Verbs
- A Manager’s Calling: The 10 Beliefs of Great Managers {or} What if I’m not a manager?
- Doing the Drill Down: Less is More {or} Managerial Batching: 1, 2, 5 and 7
- People Who Do Good Work
Then choose one of these tags for further reading as currently appeals to you: next-stepping, goal-setting, habit-building, value-mapping, partnering, managing change, self-efficacy, culture-building (there are more tag options in each article footer).
Alaka‘i Managers are big fans of gerunds; those ___ing words which turn verbs into achieved nouns! They are actionable energy buckets, and Alaka‘i Managers are the new Energy Bunnies :)
[…] My dear managers, I cannot tell you how many times something similar happens when I tour workplaces, a frequent opportunity and normal part of what I do as a Managing with Aloha culture coach. Well, I guess I can tell you about it, but the point is that I don’t want to — I shouldn’t have to bring it up, and this posting should be totally unnecessary, because you have made it a habit of your management style, to catch your people doing something good, or something right, or something important, or something inspiring, and you tell them, and you thank them: Management Style by Habit. […]