Ho‘okipa, the Hospitality of Complete Giving
I know of you.
I know that there is great wealth to be shared between us.
I have been very eager for July’s arrival, giving us a stage on which to do so.
“Wealth, thought the people old, is found not so much in your possessions, but in the ability to give generously of what you possess… The primacy of giving is best shown by two of the most important values in Hawaiian and other Polynesian societies, namely generosity, or lokomaika‘i, and hospitality, or ho‘okipa. The essential nature of both is the liberal giving of what you have. Such an act of generosity deserves the name lokomaika‘i, which means good heart.”
—Dr. George Hu‘eu Sanford Kanahele, scholar and historian, and author of Kū Kanaka, Stand Tall, A Search for Hawaiian Values
When I reflect back on the too-short time I had the great privilege of studying with Dr. Kanahele, the kupuna whom I credit most for catalyzing my own journey in learning the Hawaiian values, two of his teachings consistently emerge as the most insightful and long-lasting for me. One is how he defined sense of place, and his open-arms embrace for all who wanted to be of Hawai‘i. He was a welcoming and receptive man. The second is captured best in the quote above, taken from his seminal book about the value of hospitality. It is quite closely connected to the first, for his welcoming and receptive nature was an inseparable part of his aloha; his spirit lived from the inside generously shared outside.
As a result of Dr. Kanahele’s teaching, itself lokomaika‘i and given to me with the unending generosity of his good heart, I would define ho‘okipa with these words when it came time to publish a book of my own about the Hawaiian values;
Welcome guests and strangers with your spirit of Aloha.
What I have learned in my practice of what I was taught, is that in sharing Ho‘okipa with others, we gain our own joy and we invest in our own well-being. “One of life’s greatest laws is that you cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening your own as well.”
Ho‘okipa, the complete giving of hospitality
Ho‘okipa is the value we will visit this month, intent on having it receive and bless us as both intentional learners, and as those who want more of this splendid gift to be ever-present, vibrant and giving in our lives.
A lifetime of living in Hawai‘i learning about Ho‘okipa has impressed this upon me; the key word in my own definition for Managing with Aloha is strangers. Aloha must be present and offered to others freely, no matter who those ‘others’ may be, and no matter how little you may know about them. You know of them, that is, of their humanity and therefore, of their greater capacity. You must trust in the good which innately resides within them, even if you have not yet experienced it. You must believe they are supremely worthy of all you have to give them until they prove otherwise. Even then, it may be they are not yet in their own place of best receivership, and if you are Mea Ho‘okipa, the host or hostess who embodies the lokomaika‘i of ho‘okipa, you can trust their time of best receivership will come.
Ho‘okipa defines the art of true service
Is hospitality a sleeping art?
We all yearn for more hospitality, for we know it to be a strong, very genuine signal of the aloha spirit waiting for us within a new relationship, whether that relationship is with a person, a team, a neighborhood, a business, or an entire society.
When hospitality is present we feel welcomed, we feel wanted, and we are more willing to be fully involved in the human interactions of life.
So what can we do to awaken this sleeping art, doing our part to help hospitality be more vibrant again? How can we savor it more, and crave it less?
For there to be ho‘okipa, hospitality must be unconditional
Unconditional means there are absolutely no strings attached.
Imagine that you are standing in front of this beautiful woman, her smile exquisitely captured in the photo above. She is ready to give you her flower lei of yellow plumeria, but it is gently and patiently held, resting well below her relaxed shoulders so she can be fully present for you. Her first gift, her first genuine desire, is that you receive the just-for-you intention of her smile. She waits, so you will connect with the look in her eyes seeking to share warmth, sincerity, and the complete aloha she has bubbling effervescently within her countenance. You are in a wonderful place, natural, green, verdant, but it has become a background now fuzzy and unimportant; all the focus is on the breadth of her grace in your presence, and the giving of her smile to you.
She is there for you, and for no other reason.
You soon understand that the lei is not really the gift; it is actually the lasting reminder you will take with you. It remains so you can keep holding that moment of aloha she had given you before the lei was placed around your shoulders, so that its beautiful scent could entice your own aloha spirit to come out and play. However by then, it might very well be that the woman is gone, an artist of ho‘okipa who has already left her mark. She did not have to wait for you to receive completely, because she had already given completely. Her giving has been unconditional, and her art gloriously celebrated. You have just been in the presence of Mea Ho‘okipa, that rare person whose ho‘ohana it is to share hospitality with complete giving.
Ho‘ohana with us, as we Manage with Aloha
Now I take you back to Managing with Aloha, a book written to help you share your values
at work, and
in business, as well as
within your life.
There is far too little that is now unconditionally given in these arenas, isn’t there.
My challenge to all of you this month, is that we immediately set about changing that sad state of affairs, and that we do so to become Mea Ho‘okipa in whatever part of the world we reside in. Like aloha, ho‘okipa is not reserved for Hawai‘i; I have experienced it in many different places in the extensive traveling I do. However just as in Hawai‘i, there should be much more; as easily as it can be created and shared, too few of us have enough hospitality in our day. We of the Ho‘ohana Community must seize a leadership role in teaching others what ho‘okipa, the art of true hospitality really is. We do so with our own good example living and working with aloha.
Can our businesses, our work, and lives be profitable in the unconditional giving of ho‘okipa?
Oh my goodness, the answer is a loud, resounding, joyful YES! You know the certainty of this:
Would you prefer to do business with a place of bountiful aloha, freely and generously given to you in the ultimate expressions of hospitality, or with a place without it?
Would you prefer to live your life immersed in the giving and receiving of aloha, ho‘okipa and lokomaika‘i, or never having experienced their richness and wealth?
Would you rather work with those who practice the art of ho‘okipa with each other daily as their way of working, or one where service for the customer means nose-to-the-grindstone subservience for everyone else?
We can be more than profitable. We can be enriched, and we can be wealthy in the way it is best defined; “the people of old” knew that Ho‘okipa was the best legacy they could leave us.
This month, we strive for Ho‘okipa, the hospitality of complete giving.
Do join us; let’s Ho‘ohana.
~ Rosa
Are you wondering what this Ho‘ohana essay is all about?
Ho‘ohana is a Hawaiian value, and the subject of Chapter 2 in my book, Managing with Aloha. Here is a complimentary pdf excerpt: Ho‘ohana, Working with Intention.
Ho‘ohana is also my personal mantra. Therefore, Ho‘ohana ‘Ōlelo, the Language of our Work, became the name of the monthly e-letter I began to publish monthly and distribute back in 2003. It has since grown to a distribution of several thousand subscribers, and it is still sent via email on the first weekday of each month. Enter your email here to subscribe:
Whether you live in Hawai‘i or are our global neighbor, we invite you to join our Ho‘ohana Learning Community, for we share very universal values: Our email updates and newsletters are free, sent to you with aloha.
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