Aloha for Virginia Tech: Choosing to Respond
On Monday morning I taught a class on Managing with Aloha, and as is my usual habit I shut most everything else out right before I taught it, keeping myself in the zone of my own thoughts in preparation for the session. No TV, no radio, no web-surfing.
Therefore, I first heard about the tragedy at Virginia Tech when the class was over, and a woman came up to me and said, “Thank you so much; after the news this morning your presentation did so much to replace the gloominess in my spirit. Maybe if we taught our kids more about values this way they’d make better choices and value their lives more.”
She then told me about the shooting when she saw the confused look on my face, and I asked, “What news this morning?”
Later in the evening, I caught some coverage on the local news, but I soon turned my TV off, for the extensiveness of the coverage was too painful. I kept thinking about my own two children away at other college campuses, and the more I watched the more I cried; the more frightened I became for both of them, thousands of miles away from me.
Today I am having the opportunity to read some of the very thoughtful articles that bloggers I respect are starting to post, and as I read I’ve thought again about that comment I got after my Monday class.
Over the past four years that I have taught others about Managing with Aloha I have reaped these rewards: When there are challenges in the workplace people tend to focus their MWA efforts there; when the workplace is already very healthy, people will first focus on their personal lives and take some of MWA home.
In Hawai‘i in particular, people will tell me, “you’ve given me a way to talk to my kids about aloha like I never have tried to before. Teaching is way more enjoyable than preaching to them.”
Being a great parent is not easy, believe me, I know! I am not an expert in dealing with situations like the aftermath of the Virginia Tech tragedy, however in the realm of what I have learned from being a parent and from the lengthy work career which led to MWA there are two things I suggest to you in preventing tragedies like this;
1. We human beings are not meant to live our lives alone. Share your aloha spirit with those who need the human touch of friendship and family, the human circle of aloha we call ‘Ohana here in Hawai‘i. I have to believe that every person who picks up a weapon and turns it on themselves or someone else missed earlier opportunities to reach for someone else’s hand and heart first. They’ve been left out and left alone to more hurtful demons of solitary thinking.
2. If you are a parent, if you are a teacher, coach, mentor, manager, boss, or leader, anyone with a positive voice (and we all are; we all self-manage and self-lead) please wear your values on your sleeve by talking about them. By their very nature, I believe that values are inherently good. When we talk about them with others, we clarify our intention with them, and when we surround ourselves with others who are a good and loving influence on us, an aloha influence, we share them positively and not negatively.
This is my mana‘o (my belief and convictions of personal truth):
I firmly believe that everyone has aloha, and everyone can choose to express it in a way which can heal so much of the hurt and wrong in the world. I believe we must make that choice to do so and that we must commit ourselves to whatever actions possible in our personal circles of influence. I know values to be powerfully effective for you; learn to use them for the lights of love they can be. Use them to write your goals.
Never underestimate the small but important things you CAN do.
“A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind.”
—Richard Dehmel
I was inspired by an email I received from Reg Adkins earlier today, which read in part,
“I wanted to suggest that we come together and each take a proactive step of addressing the issue from our areas of expertise. … This is a very sensitive issue and I understand you may be reluctant to post about it as we do not wish to be perceived as trying to capitalize on the grief of others. But, if we don't, then we can't share our strengths at this time with those who may be of great need.”
His words jolted me into action with this posting, for as many of you are aware, I am presently championing a project called LEARN TO LEAD WITH YOUR STRENGTHS.
I humbly offer to you that I think of my expertise as teaching others how to talk about and share their values in positive, uplifting ways that help to create these human communities of aloha we can reside in; they are human circles of aloha which replace the pain of hate.
I hope you will continue to read Managing with Aloha, Talking Story and Teaching with Aloha for the value of the month program each site has been founded on; I will continue to write with this mission of sharing aloha as my focus.
Read the words of those who live by the goodness inherent in their personal values. These are posts I have read which I believe fills today’s news with good voices in the aftermath of the Virginia Tech tragedy; I will add to this listing as I find them. Please let me know of others with a comment or trackback here.
- Spotting Dangerous Behavior by Reg Adkins at Elemental Truths
- Student Leaders Are Vital During A Time Of Crisis by Tim Milburn at studentl.inc
To all who have lost those they love to this tragedy and others like it, please know that I will continue to pray for your healing; you have aloha and therefore you are strong. I believe in you and in the tenacity of your best-life’s spirit. Me aloha pumehana ke ‘imi ola,
—Rosa Say
Related posts:
UPDATE: Unfortunately, I have had to turn on Comment Moderation for my site. I am asking you for aloha and ONLY aloha. Blame on political views and the slightest hints of negativity will not be tolerated here.
“Does Virginia Tech massacre make you want stricter gun control laws?”
I came across this “real time” poll website called BuzzDash.com and they currently have the subject, and are asking: “Does Virginia Tech massacre make you want stricter gun control laws?”
As of 6:25.48 PM-PDT today. This BuzzDash.com is a “up to the second sampling of close to 350 online users polled said – No!”
347 votes since 4/17
Yes, current laws are too lax– 44%
No, protection is our right – 55%
This site BuzzDash says it’s “a community-driven website that provides a real-time dashboard showing continuously updated snapshots of popular opinion and people can gauge the pulse of the nation on the Virginia Tech tragedy and whether it should affect current gun control laws.”
I say, whether "yes" or "no" America, PLEASE make your opinion known!
Darlene
Roanoke, VA
Posted by: Darlene | April 18, 2007 at 04:19 PM